Our Worst Financial Situation

I thought moving to Seattle was a major burden on our financial situation. Turns out, this year, we face the most challenging financial situation we have ever had in our marriage.

Getting Married with No Income

Wealth was almost non-existent when we got married nine years ago. I had just graduated from college. My husband hadn’t even graduated yet. The only deposit we had in our bank account was from the gift we received at our wedding ceremony.

My husband was working in a remote research group during his undergraduate program. He was paid Rp 5 million each month. Two months after we got married, he didn't get paid anymore. He was practically "graduated" from the research program, and he needed to apply to some universities in the US to pursue his PhD program.

My husband joined a paid summer program at CERN, Switzerland, for two months. He was paid about Rp 100 million, which we used to pay for two-way flights to Switzerland, an apartment, a few trips in Europe, and daily expenses. After that, no more income.

Yet, my husband used our savings to invest in catfish farming. We spent 30 million rupiahs to build the farming area and pellets for feeding the catfish. It was not a successful investment. That 30 million rupiahs vanished without any return.

With little money saved in our bank accounts, we still had to spend millions of rupiahs for university applications, TOEFL test, GRE test, visa processing, my husband's accommodation in Chicago, our daily expenses, and even hospital bills when I delivered my firstborn!

Alhamdulillah, our parents willingly helped us. We even had a friend lend us some money.

Today, we do not get any help from our parents or our friends.

Major Drawback: Mortgage

My husband had been thinking of buying a house with a mortgage since the end of last year. We spent months searching for the perfect house with reasonable price. We finally signed a contract to buy a house earlier this March.

It is a 1700 square feet town home (150 m2) with three stories. We agreed to pay $850k for 30 years. Upfront, we had to pay $30k as earnest money and about $155k down payment and closing fees.

We drained our bank account to almost 0.
We spent every dollar we saved this past 1,5 years.
Our struggle to not eat at a cafe or restaurant paid off with this house.

But now, we are basically living paycheck by paycheck. We even declined some medical treatments needed.

Medical Treatments

I will have a medical treatment that my husband and I think my body needs for aesthetic purposes. We spent $8700 for this. Turned out, there are several recommended medical treatments both for me and my son that, unfortunately, we have to deny.

Declined Therapy for Back Pain

I had a pain in my hip area closer to my buttocks. When I drive, I can feel the dull pain. One day, there is a promotional event held by a chiropractic clinic in our apartment complex. I came to the event. They gave me a complimentary quick exam and 10 minutes massage. They also suggested that I do a full exam at the clinic, which only costs 20 bucks.

I thought it was a good opportunity. So, I scheduled my appointment. I came to the clinic. I told them what pain I had. They took an X-ray of my hip. They also did a full exam on my body. They check my movement.

When I sat at the edge of the clinic bed with my legs hanging down from the edge of the bed, the therapist pushed down on my right thigh. She asked me to lift my leg to counter her downward push. Frankly enough, I could not do that! I felt that my right leg was weak. I could do that easily with my left leg.

I told the therapist I had sciatica pain when I was pregnant. You guessed it right, the pain was back! It was the same problem.

I came to the clinic for the second time to talk about the treatment program. The therapist explained my X-ray result. My left hip was slightly lower than my right hip. It caused stress in my muscles. Also, there were some issues with the backbone: a thin disc and misaligned bones. They suggested me to do at least six treatments that cost me $600.

It did not seem very expensive. The thing is, chiropractic feels like just another massaging treatment. Well, they will do an adjustment (not with the cracking sound you watch on Instagram reels). The rest of the treatment will be self-exercise while the therapist watches me.

So, I had to decline this treatment. Somehow, the pain in my hip goes away on its own.

Declined Therapy for Reducing Myopia Progression

My older son has been wearing eyeglasses since he was 4 years old. It started when he needed to take an eye exam as part of the school administration process. The optometrist found that my son has astigmatism.

Each year, my son has to take an eye exam. After the exam, he will get a new pair of prescription glasses. Begin last year, he developed more problems in his eyes: myopia. Not a severe one, -0,5 D and -0,75 D. The optometrist asked my son to come back in 6 months because he has a family history of high prescription glasses (my husband uses -8 D or -9 D glasses). My son may have the same problem as my husband.

A few weeks ago, we came to the eye clinic. We were surprised to find out that my son's eyeballs had grown a lot and had become much more elongated. His prescription changed to -1,5 D and -1,75 D. Too quick for 6 months!

The optometrist suggested an eye drop therapy that could slow down the progression of myopia in young children. For a year, the eye drop therapy costs more than $1000. That day, I ordered a new pair of eyeglasses for my son and discussed the eye drop therapy with my husband. Turns out, the eye drop is an off-label use. You can Google: low-dose atropine eye drops.

We can not spend thousands of dollars right now. So, my son will not get any treatment soon. He got a new pair of eyeglasses, though. We make sure he changes his habits: more outdoor time, less screen time, and taking a break during reading time.

Declined Orthodontic Treatment

I guess my older son inherited both of his parents' imperfections. His teeth are huge (compared to his jaw) and super crowded. When we came to the orthodontic clinic, the dentist recommended that my son get phase one treatment. A palatal expander. Basically, expanding the jaw.

They said it will give more room for all other adult teeth to grow, so there will be no need to do teeth extraction in the future. Well, I had braces when I was 16. The dentist took 4 teeth out. Now I have wide spacing between teeth. My husband has crowded teeth, too! But, he did not get any orthodontic treatment.

Well, the cost of the palatal expander is more than $3000 for 9 months. It doesn't guarantee that my son will not need adult braces in the future. It does NOT guarantee that my son will not need a tooth extraction to reduce the crowding. And it is hella expensive!

Of course, we declined this :)

More Expenses Needed ASAP

I thought I could deny some huge expenses coming up. Turns out, I need to pay these things, or my life will not be easy.

Unpaid Tax

It is tax reporting season. I filled out the tax return form to find out we need to pay about $12800. My husband already pays income taxes every time he receives his salary. But we haven't paid any taxes for stock selling. We sold a lot of stock last year and got some returns. We need to pay tax on about 30% of the return.

The deadline for this unpaid tax is April 15. We have to find a way to somehow pay this unpaid tax. Sure, it is mind-boggling.

Worn-Out Tires

I took our electric car for routine service. The mechanics found that our tires have worn out. The tire thread depth is 3/32 inch for all-four tires on the inner side. The mechanics said, electric car tends to wear out tires more quickly than a gas car. Because the electric motor in an electric car gives instant torque to the tire and increase friction force. Our car is also super heavy due to the huge battery.

The tire thread depth is almost reaching the legal limit (2/32 inch). It means, if a police catch us and sees the almost bald tire, we can be penalized. It is also not safe to use an almost bald tire. The thing is, we need to spend more than $2000 to purchase new tires.

We, unfortunately, have to postpone this. I feel like we are broke to the bone (:

Green Card Application

There is one more step to get our permanent residency: applying for the I-485 form. We can submit it now, but it IS expensive. Each person costs $1000 minimum + $300 medical check-up. So, for the three of us (me, my husband, and my older child), the green card application process costs almost $4000 if we are not going to submit an EAD application (work permit before we obtain the Green Card) or an Advanced Parole (international travel permit before obtaining the Green Card). Each application costs something hundred dollars.

So, we have to postpone this until we have some money.

Moving Out

With these heavy expenses, we still need to pay for the apartment until we move out. We may need to rent a truck to move our belongings. There are still a lot of things to be paid!

The Plan

These expenses must be paid. And the plan is... just to flow with it. I mean, when my husband gets the salary, we will pay the most important expenses first (unpaid tax). Then, moving forward to the next important expense.

Living abroad is not easy because we are not rich. I think most Indonesian diaspora also experience this. I mean, I have never met any Indonesian people living in the US who drive sport car or live in a mansion.

If you ask, why do I write this post? First, to ease my mind. Second, as a memoir, when it has passed. Last, to give some people an understanding of how living abroad is not always fun and easy.

I am still grateful, though. And I believe, Allah Al-Ghaniyy will grant us sufficient rizq needed for our life :)